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Immajust going to leave this here, since I found it in my Inbox and don’t quite know what to make of it.
“room for rent with utilities includedight and sunny apartment for rentoversized and new family home great income pot live rent free inwood wash hts” lcd p isymphony hdtvmonitor gilbert,phoenix,http:phoenixcraigslistorgevlelehtml,, :: PM”got a tech? all boroughsand new pool tables central flaartist’s retreat dramatic penthouse in historic schoolhouse parking charlestowngreat bedroom bath gymindoor basketball court saugusfree recycling of the following pdx metro sw washgorgeous sq ft home in country club lexington nc heating cooling repair west valleyaffordable painting services low prices great service off paint all areasweekly rates from furnished studio – free utilities cable tv fairfield vacavillepool home with beds and baths fort myers beachluxury bedroom bath w fireplace north bethesda mapsublease master bedroom no deposit nw th st and th avetimber loft river north rooftop deck new kitchen stainless chicago river northft officewarehouse space concord north business park concord pleasant hill martinezft person all inclusive available now aventurahuge bedroom dog friendly community free rent north suburbs map”
I’ve studied the situation, and believe that the dichotomy represents a juxtaposition of man’s inherent value versus his inhumanity to his fellow man.
Or, someone drunk e-mailed me.
Definitely one of those.
Oh Really, Mr. Spambot?
I got this spam comment on here the other day, and I deleted it because it pissed me off.
And, there’s probably a way to retrieve deleted comments, but damned if I know how.
This post is not about retrieving deleted comments.
It’s about the inability of any blogger to always be on top of her (or his) game.
So Sir Spambot told me he used to come here and read my posts because I was hilarious and uplifting, and now…not so much.
Oh really?
Well, it’s easy to be a critic when that’s all you do.
Which brings me to my next point.
Was this a spammer, or was this an honest opinion?
Doesn’t matter, I deleted it and promptly got all righteous and stuff about how I am such a “brilliant” writer and how dare anyone question my blogging capabilities.
Then I threw up in my mouth a little.
Then I decided I was at least partially right. At least the part about the difficulties of writing a blog for entertainment purposes. The rest? Yeah, not so much.
But, I am honest…or at least I try to be.
Look, whoever you are…if you are a real person…you may have a point. I maybe don’t always have that edge. Maybe I’m not all that interesting, maybe I am boring sometimes, but guess what? This is my little corner of the worldwide web, and if you don’t like it go somewhere else.
Really, kids?
Number 2 on the list of “top searches” that bring you kids to my site, utterly crushing your hopes of ever finding the elusive thing you seek, is this:
“we have been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that the sum of $10.500, 000.00, has been released from a bank in africa bearing your name as the beneficiary without dist certificate to clear your name and fund from every terrorist or drug or money laundering activities”
Guess what number one is.
Yep, it’s “juke williams”.
What a guy.
Kids, I hate to have to be the one to break this to you…but…
There is no fecking ‘Juke Williams’, no bazillion dollars/dubloons/kittens just waiting for you to come and claim them. Well, there may be a bazillion kitties, but I fail to see how that would make you rich. That would make your house smell like a giant litterbox, and the kibble bill would be astronomical.
There is no free iPad/cell phone/rhinestone tiara/lifetime pizza giveaway, either.
Deal with it.
Hugs,
awesomesauciness, Crusher of Dreams and;
Dasher of Hopes
Well We Haven’t Done This in a While
Frankly, all the autocorrects were beginning to look the same…boring.
Until this…………….
And I laughed till I cried.
Then I formed a band.
I Honestly Don’t Have Anything to Post About
Life’s in a holding pattern.
Winter will not leave Texas, and despite the blazing sun I’m cold.
All. The. Time.
I have a million things I need to do, and zero interest in most of them.
I tried yard work, and jacked-up my already fecked-up-beyond-belief back.
Again.
So, I guess I do have something to post about. It’s just that I’m posting about whiny stuff.
Alrighty, then.
Move along.
Nothing to see here.
It’s Gettin’ Real…
….weird…
I am convinced my house is haunted.
The latest evidence is presented here for your entertainment:
We have cable television. We have a remote controller for the cable television. We use the remote to scroll through upcoming shows, and set reminders for the ones we want to watch.
Anyone who has cable/satellite you can skip this part because you obviously know what I’m talking about. Y’all go have some cookies – they’re warm, right out of the oven – while I explain this to everyone else.
Everyone else – with me so far?
Okay, we set a reminder the other day so that when “Ironman” came on, a small pop-up comes up on the television screen to let us know it’s on. If you mash the “OK” button on the remote, the television will magically switch the channel to the reminder channel and voila! you are watching “Ironman” (or whatever you set a reminder for).
Okay, those of you who went out for cookies come back in here and leave some for the rest of us!
Now, here’s where things get weird.
The reminder for “Ironman” came up as I was in the kitchen and hubby was in the office. Neither of us was within 10 feet of the remote when the channel suddenly changed on its own, and “Ironman” began to play.
We spent the next ten minutes alternately blaming each other for changing the channel and refusing to admit it, and staring at each other wide-eyed while remarking how very weird that was.
I finally gave up and said, “Very funny, Ralph (the name I chose to give our poltergeist), but don’t do it again.”
My house is haunted, y’all.
There Are Forces At Work Here, I’m Convinced of It
Not only am I now awaiting my THIRD “Supernatural: Third Season, Disc 2″ to arrive from Blockbuster – the first two having been broken in half when I got them, and now I’m wondering what supernatural forces are working to keep me from seeing this particular batch of episodes.
BUT…
I also got this cryptic message from my e-mail Nazis at work.
[SUSPICIOUS MESSAGE] Pocket Devotions, day 478: A Hero’s Life
See the day? This is the 478th day I’ve received a Biblical message in my Inbox and today, of all days, it’s deemed ‘suspicious’.
There are forces at work here, I’m tellin’ ya.
The cosmos is fecking with my mind.
I Really Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Go Places Alone
I’m kinda/sorta/maybe in the market to replace the 8-yr. old 165K miles-on-it car that I really do like. It’s just starting to have ‘issues’, and much as I hate break-ups I hate breakdowns even more.
Besides, at my age, my ass/back needs something comfy to sit in when I drive. And with the elebenty-hunnert grandchildren around these days we need something larger.
After much looking around the ‘Net I decided I want a Chevy Traverse. Hubby is underwhelmed at the idea of getting into payments again, so he has thus far refrained from shopping or test-driving.
I blame him for what happened Tuesday.
I found a very nice-looking Traverse with low mileage and a great price at a dealership near my house, so I decided to go by there and test drive it on my way home.
I’ve always been one to engage in the idle chatter that a used-car salesman will instigate the minute you get inside the vehicle for the test. This time I was tired, and I was trying to get a feel/listen to the Traverse, so I was silent.
ChattyBoy was not…so, he only has himself to blame for this:
ChattyBoy (CB): This is a nice vehicle, isn’t it? And you just never, ever find one for under $20K anywhere. Not ever.
ME: *silent as I’m navigating the turns out of the parking lot onto the street, but I notice there’s something ‘off’ about this vehicle*
CB: Nosiree, never one this low-priced. And…umm…it’s really nice, not scratches, no dings…..
ME: *except the scratched-to-hell inside of the back hatch door, and the chunk missing from one of the third-row seat backs and there’s something wrong with the way this thing handles*
CB: …and an exceptionally nice ride, for what’s basically a large SUV…handles pretty well, doesn’t it? And, the price! Can you believe it? Did I mention it’s also a ‘Certified’ vehicle? Yep, it goes through a 177 point inspection. All that for a remarkable price. So, what’s your budget?
ME: *finally speaking* I don’t have a set budget, it depends on the vehicle and there’s something really wrong with the suspension or else one of the right-side tires is in the shape of a football.
CB: *after a few seconds* You may be right.
ME: 177 point inspection? Really?
CB: *beaming*Yep, it’s got an extended warranty and it’s Certified.
ME: 177 points, and yet the mechanics missed the fact that one of tires may be in the shape of a football…or, there’s something much larger going on and that’s a big problem.
CB: *nervous laughter* Yeah, sometimes I wonder where the mechanic’s heads are at.
ME: So, if they missed this big a problem, what kind of confidence can I have that any of the other 177 points were addressed?
CB: *silence*
ME *on a roll now* And while we are at it, I’ve seen plenty of vehicles at or below this one’s price.
CB: Really? Where?
ME: At other-much-larger-dealership nearby.
CB: *sulking* Well, yeah..but they do a huge volume…
ME: Look, bud, you’re the one going on and on about pricing…and you know what? I wouldn’t pay that for this vehicle. It’s beat to hell, drives like it’s run the Baja, and is the most vanilla version of a Traverse.
By this time we were back at the dealership and he almost waited for the car to stop completely before getting out.
I walked into the showroom with him as he kept apologizing for the lousy condition of the car and promising it would get fixed.
CB: So, if we fix the problems, how much would you be willing to pay?
ME: No more than $13K (the sticker was $16.5K)…and I mean not a penny more.
CB: *looking crestfallen* I’ll call you.
ME: Yeah, you do that.
As I left I realized I’d just come across as the biggest bitch on the planet, and I also realized I don’t give a shit. I’m there to spend money, my money, and it’s going to be on my terms.
But, I have to admit I’d of been a lot less bitchy if hubby had gone with. He’s the voice-of-reason, and my warrior and protector. ChattyBoy wouldn’t have tried so hard after Hubby gave him that sideways glance the first time the car wonky-wooed to the right.
I told hubby about my adventure when I got home and his only response was, “You really shouldn’t be allowed to go places alone.”
Can’t argue with that logic.
More People Should Be Like This Guy
From the SPAM comments:
“This tidings requires knowledgeable definition and is intended for the most part fitted profit by close to health mind a look after workers and facilities/organizations providing haleness disquiet including pharmacies, hospitals, long-term heed facilities, community-based well-being regard ritual providers and pre-hospital danger services”
Frankly, I think we need more people like this on the ‘Net. Able to provide clear, concise, and well-thought out commentary.
I, for one, feel totally enlightened.
Thank you, Mr. Spambottalksalot.
What the what, what?
Anybody get the number of that truck what ran over my head Tuesday morning and gave me a TWO DAY migraine?
No, it had to be a truck. My neck/back/shoulders feel like I’ve gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson….*feels for ears*…umm..pre-crazy Mike Tyson.
I hate when I get a migraine, but day-ummm…two days?? Really? They usually only last a few hours to a day at most.
And I still have a headache….just more of a dull throb now.
It’s complicated, the ‘why’ of it all, but in a nutshell one of my ruptured discs is in the first cervical spine joint, so when that one presses on some nerve in there BAM! I get a migraine.
I’ll be back, eventually…I was awarded a “Liebster Award” last week and I still haven’t written the post about it. But I will.
