Daily Archives: September 8, 2011

That Ain’t Chocolate

It was chaotic at my house on Labor Day.  That’s because there were 16 of us, including kids, and everyone was talking at the same time and the kids were taking full advantage of the fact that we were all distracted.

I’m still picking Cheetos out of the carpet and furniture, and I didn’t see the cat till Tuesday morning.  I still don’t know where one of the remotes is and my tape dispenser is missing its tape.   If I hadn’t kissed every one of those grandbabies goodbye I’d be looking for one taped to a wall somewhere.

My oldest son has a little boy (he’s two) and he is just…well, he’s perfect and precious…and he was sick with strep – yay..now we can all enjoy the fruits of his bacteria-laden smooches.  He’s on antibiotics that give him…well, let’s call them what a former colleague did – the hershey squirts.

I’ll give you a moment to cleanse the visual from your brain.  Bleach anyone?

Better now?

So, after a particularly impressive episode the boy’s shorts needed washing…and why don’t parents these days pack extra clothing for their kids, especially the little ones?? Boggles the mind.

Instead of actually washing the shorts, my son decides to rinse them and dry them.   This is the same child who used to dust his room with canned air…he’s nothing if not inventive.

He puts the shorts in the dryer, along with a clean load of clothes that had already been dried…mind you, these shorts were  still dirty and *aromatic*.

My youngest son walks up to the table where I was chatting about important matters, such as what color feathers I wanted in my hair, with my daughter and daughter-in-law.

Youngest Son:  Mom, you can yell at (older brother) if you want but he just put those stinky shorts in the dryer with your clean clothes.

Me:  He didn’t!!

Youngest Son:  Oh, yeah, he did. I know he thinks it’s okay because he sprayed  oxycontin on them first.

Me: *blink* Wha…?

Daughter:  You have oxycontin?  Where?

D-I-L:  If you’ve got some, you better share!

YS:  *looking terribly confused* What are you talking about?

Me: *unable to respond, laughing too hard*

Daughter:  Oxycontin is a pain killer, brother, I think you mean Oxi-Clean

YS: *totally embarrassed, does not answer and walks off in a huff*

Me: *still laughing hard and now wondering if I may pass out*

And, yeah I did have to re-wash all those clothes.

Sigh….you’d never know these “kids” are all in their 30’s.