Daily Archives: September 29, 2011
For posts like this one.
Our company is hosting its annual (read that last word like you were Lloyd Christmas in “Dumb and Dumber” – an-oo-ull -…go ahead, I’ll wait)…okay, where were we?
Oh, yes I was about to tell you about the picnic ticket fiasco of 2011.
My employer has three locations in Texas. Two of them are located in the DFW Metroplex and I work at one and one of my besties in all the world works at the other.
At least once a day she calls me a “jackass”. If she didn’t I would think the honeymoon was over and she’d found someone new.
Yesterday she sent me the tickets for our annual company picnic and inside the envelope was a detailed inventory of the tickets…ticket numbers, employee names and how many each person gets.
She’s thorough…that’s why she gets to package these things and why I take care of petting zoos and clowns. Not that we ever actually have petting zoos or clowns, mind you I’ve asked, but if we did I’m your gal.
Oh, I can count, but I’m easily distr- SQUIRREL!
So, I get the tickets out this morning and proceed to package them up for the employees getting them.
I also double-check my math. Twice. What is that? Quadruple check? Sounds complicated and math-y so I’ll go with that.
I begin handing them out, before I’ve finished the counting and packaging. Of course, I come up short.
Of course I do.
I begin a re-count of everyone who has gotten them, and the few I have left.
I call her up and tell her I’ve got a problem. She keeps insisting the count is right.
I know it is. It always is, that’s why she does these things and I don’t.
I count again, I check the stacks again, I get everyone I’ve given tickets to to verify their tickets against the list again.
I’m still short. Five tickets short.
I send an e-mail to the employee whose tickets I don’t have and tell him he’ll have to get his tickets from her as I’m short and she has the extras. I add some snarkiness to the effect that she can’t count right as usual.
I call her and tell her I’m exactly five tickets short, and oh by the way, one person that is owed tickets is out of town and how will I get those to him in time?
She says, “There’s your missing five. I wrote on the outside of the envelope that I’d already sent his to him! Jackass!”
I pull out the gi-normous envelope with the HUGE black letters on the front letting me know she’d sent those five to our out-of-towner.
On an otherwise unmarked white envelope.
I never saw them.
Because, you know…….ninj- SQUIRREL!!
See, told ya you just had to be there.