Daily Archives: November 15, 2011

I’ve Been Axe-ed!

I was walking towards the door at Wally World, and I saw a young man a few feet in front of me as he crossed my path.  He was wearing the *unique* clothing of his age – an Aeropostale t-shirt and some cargo shorts.  Flip-flops completed the *look* and his hair was a mass of blonde waves. 

The wind was blowing about 30 miles an hour – typical for Texas – and I was downwind of him.

Hmmm….I thought….I wonder if he is wearing…..

OH MY GAWD!!! I’VE BEEN AXE-ED!!!  I staggered as I grabbed my forehead – a searing pain developing right between my eyes.

I didn’t have to wonder what kind of *fragrance* he was wearing anymore.

Just then, another young man came across my path and although he wasn’t wearing the typical uniform of the rich kid, I wasn’t fooled…however; I wasn’t fast enough to duck out of the way in time and…

HOLY SHIT-BIRDS! I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE AND MY EYES, MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!  I had to grab onto the nearest light post for support.

Then a third young man….surely it couldn’t happen again, could it?

I’M BLIND! HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!! I CAN’T BREATHE! I CAN’T SEE!! MY FACE IS MELTING!!

Axe – It’s Not a Scent, It’s a Chemical Weapon.

*contemplates sending a note to the Axe people giving them permission to use that as their new tag line – right after I copyright it – and working a revenue deal…this could work in my favor after all*