Hey, Look! It’s a Turkey!

Yeah, most bloggers will take this time to tell you all how thankful they are or tell you to tell them how thankful you are or…

…wait, I’m dizzy now.

Where was I?

Oh yes, the thankful part of Thanksgiving.  And we all know what put the “thank” in Thanksgiving, don’t we?

Food and football, though not necessarily in that order.

I have grown kids and even though they are good cooks I’m still in charge of the turkey’s share of cooking on Thanksgiving.   I start days early, so that on the big day I’m not utterly exhausted and totally not hungry by the time we eat.

I went to the store the other day to get a fresh turkey.  I hate buying frozen turkeys, mostly because I consistently forget to put them in the fridge to thaw four days ahead of time and am frantically running hot water over it at 7:00 on Thanksgiving morning hoping to get it thawed in time to put it in the oven by noon.  We are late dinner eaters, and by late I mean 5:00 p.m.  After years of that stress I decided to bite the bullet and pay extra for a fresh turkey.  I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner.  Now, I have ample time to fret over the Cool Whip I forgot to get out of the freezer until right before pie time.

A little kitchen-helper tip: Don’t try to thaw Cool Whip in the microwave….unless you like your whipped cream to be the consistency of  milk.

Yes, I know they make it in cans and yes I tried those too.  The first few times there was no propellant in the can when I got it home.  That’s when I learned about kids using the gas in there to get high..and really, who was the first kid to grab a can of whipped cream and say, “Hey, y’all wanna get high?”  I mean, who thinks of these things.   I know they’ve changed the propellant, but now I just grab the Cool Whip out of habit.  I’m old, it’s hard to change these things.

Where was I going with this?

Oh, right.  I was looking at the fresh turkeys in the store when an elderly gentleman tugged on my sleeve.  He silently pointed to a few of the fresh turkeys and looking at me raised an eyebrow.

“Turkeys, yes.” I said in a half-hearted attempt to perhaps explain what he was looking at to him.  He seemed confused, and worse, I thought he was incapable of speaking. 

Suddenly, a light seemed to go off in his eyes.

“Oh my goodness! I thought you were my wife!”

I laughed as his real wife came up to us.

“Is he bugging you?” she asked.

“Oh, no but apparently we look alike.” I replied, even though we looked nothing alike.

As I walked away I heard her mumble something and he replied, “I thought it was you! I really did!”

So, Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!  And remember fellas, when you are turkey shopping don’t be tugging on another woman’s sleeve.

Just sayin’.

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Posted on November 24, 2011, in Guess You Had to Be There, Maybe I'm The Only One Who Thinks This Is Funny and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. And watch for stray children that try to follow you home. I had that happen at Old Navy. Because apparently dressed in my black sweats and t-shirt, I looked just like her Indian mother dressed in a burka.

  2. Love it.

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