Is This…………..?

My cell phone rang.   I didn’t recognize the number, so I ignored it.

Then, I began to wonder if it was someone from the nursing home calling to tell me something had happened to my Dad.

He was sick, he had fallen or had been beaten up by another resident.

He’d escaped!

He was barefoot, in 30 degree weather, walking the yellow line in traffic!

You see what happens when *we* ignore phone calls? 

The mind reels.

Ten minutes later, as I was now producing all sorts of apocalyptic scenarios involving not only my Dad but every member of my family, the phone rang again.

It was the same number, but this time I answered.


“Hello.  Is this (garbled)…”


“Hello.  Is this…………………………………………….Simone?”

Yes, those ellipsis’ (ellipsii?) are to indicate an extremely long pause.

“No, this is not Simone.”

“Really.”  (not a question, a statement)

“Really. You have the wrong number.”

“This isn’t Simone?”

“No. You have the wrong number.”


My mind began to work again….

Someone is looking for a long-lost loved one, got this number and called thinking I was “Simone” and her search was over – she’d found her mother/sister/aunt/bestie-from-childhood.

And then, reality……..

Someone’s husband has a helluvalot of ‘splainin to do.

Posted on December 14, 2011, in Posts, Random Crap and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. We screen all our calls, if they don’t want to leave a message, then you obviously didn’t really want to talk to us. This was in response to a group of kids repeat-dialing and asking for different names. I finally had to break the news to them that they had not hidden the number they were calling from, and I bet their parents would not appreciate a phone call at their house re: prank calls. Nowadays, if you don’t leave a message and I don’t recognize the number, I’m not picking up the phone… and I set the phone to ring twice before the recorded message starts.

  2. I also get lots of those calls. One asked, “Is this Elephant Man.” (A popular Dance Hall artiste)

    I also call back even the unfamiliar numbers. Most are wrong numbers and I get that silly exchange also. One however was from a young lady who started chatting me up. My wife got one from an old lady who kept talking because she was just lonely and needed to talk to someone.

  3. The one that takes the taco, for me, was the woman who insisted I was her daughter and was keeping her from her grandchildren. This woman called every few days for months right after I had gotten my cell phone. When I answered she swore I was her daughter. When I didn’t she’d leave threatening voicemails, once even saying “I can make people disappear if I want to…”

    I quit answering the phone when I saw it was her and she finally gave up.

    People are crazy.

  1. Pingback: So, There I Was Minding My Own Business… « awesomesauciness


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