Well, Of Course I Did

Wednesday is my grocery-shopping day, so after spending way too many hours sitting in front of a computer I drag my exhausted ass to the local store and buy a week’s worth of groceries.

I have such an exciting life.

:whimper:

This Wednesday was no different….except I did score a sweet deal on two-for-one pricing for Oscar Mayer bacon.

Note to Oscar Mayer – I don’t know what you are using for bacon advertising, but here’s a free catchphrase from me to you:

“Because everything’s better with bacon”

So, as I was saying, this Wednesday was no different.

That is until I tried to leave the store.

I got halfway through the automatic doors and this boot-lock-thingy on my cart snapped shut and stopped me in my tracks. I hit the handlebar I was holding with an “oof”.

I looked down at the cart’s contents. I suppose I was expecting the lettuce to confess it was hiding contraband in its leaves and the cart knew it and was having none of that foolishness. Or maybe the two-fer bacon was having second thoughts. Whatever the reason, it was obvious I wasn’t getting any answers from the sea of brown bags before me.

I looked around and at first all the other patrons going in and out just politely stepped around me.

Then, it happened.

First one man, then another and then kids, moms, grandmas and trolls all stopped to gape at me and my stubbornly-stuck cart.

“I…uh….” Was my oh-so-witty observation as I turned to go get help from the manager who’d put my groceries in the cart-from-hell in the first place.

“My cart,” I began, pointing to the circle of people surrounding my cart, “it won’t budge.”

Manager looked at me and then realizing that unsticking a shopping cart was way beneath his pay grade, grabbed the first teenager in a store uniform he saw.

 “Go help her, will you?”

“Sure.”

So, teenager and I went back to the cart and its adoring crowd.

 Teenager bent down and looked at the wheel. As soon as he did he began to get all kinds of helpful advice from the crowd.

“Ya gotta lift that thingy….”

“No, I think you push down on it…”

“No, no…lift the cart…”

“Hit somebody!”

(okay, that last part may not have really happened)

Finally, teenager lifted the cart and pushed something on the wheel.

Voila! I was free.

The crowd dispersed amongst mumbles of “See…I told you…”

Teenager grinned at me and said, “Wow…that has never happened before. Ever.”

“Of course it hasn’t.” I replied, “and, just in case that once-in-a-lifetime happens again between here and the car…”

“Sure, I’ll take these for you.”

The rest of the grocery experience was uneventful, but I eyed the empty cart as teenager wheeled it away; looking for any identifying marks.

I want to be able to avoid using possessed shopping carts whenever possible, but knowing me I’ll be the one to find this beast again. 

Of course I will.

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Posted on January 6, 2012, in Maybe I'm The Only One Who Thinks This Is Funny, Posts, Random Crap, What the flippity-flop? and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. “Wow, Ma’am. You’re sure buying a lot of bacon, rope, and duct tape. What do you need all that for.”

    “Oh, no reason, young man. Could you help me out to the car with all this?”

  1. Pingback: Happy Birthday! « awesomesauciness

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