Daily Archives: April 24, 2012

I Am Much Sorry Random Blah, Blah

Hello and thank you for calling “I-Will-Now-Proceed-To-Make-Your-Life-A-Living-Hell” .

Diega Espanol, el prima-dose.

Please state the reason for your call.

ME: Order status

Please say or state the reason for your call.

ME: Order status

Please say or state the reason for your call.

ME: NO!

Please say or state….

ME: Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!

*I now begin mashing random buttons on my phone*

I’m sorry YOU are such a moron (though I’m pretty sure she said  “having so much trouble..”, please press….

ME: Pssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*random clicks and I get a human*

“Thank you for calling Hell, my name is “I-Don’t-Give-A-Shit-Because-My-Scumbag-Boyfriend-Is-Banging-My-Best-Friend”.  How may I help you?

ME: I need an order status, please.

“Thank you for calling Hell, my name is “I-Don’t-Give-A-Shit-Because-My-Scumbag-Boyfriend-Is-Banging-My-Best-Friend”.  How may I help you?

Me: O-R-D-E-R S-T-A-T-U-S

“Thank you for calling Hell, my name is “I-Don’t-Give-A-Shit-Because-My-Scumbag-Boyfriend-Is-Banging-My-Best-Friend”.  How may I help you?

ME: Are you out of your Vulcan mind!?

“I am sorry not for hearing much you. Please to call try number back.” <<<I shit you not, that’s exactly how she said it.

ME: I am much hearing, you are not hearing. I am much sorry.

“Okay”

*click*

Feck.