Daily Archives: July 30, 2012

It’s a Bear

No, really it’s a bear..or part of a bear anyway and it’s in my freezer at home.

Here’s how these things happen to me.

I walked in the door from work late last week and hubby was looking like a little boy who’d just scored the Topps package with an extra bubble gum accidentally stuck inside.

“C’mere”, he said excitedly waving me towards the garage.

“What?”, I replied as I followed him.

“Look!” he said, as he opened the freezer

*yes, we’ve been married so long we have entire conversations that consist of one-word exchanges – communication-schmumunication*


“Look what the boss gave me.”, he said as he placed a clear plastic bag of a frozen meat-like substance in my hand

“And this is….?”

“Bear meat! Ground bear meat!”

He looked so giddy I didn’t have the heart to say what I couldn’t stop my mouth from saying anyway.

“What am I going to do with ground bear meat?”

*this is the part where I watch hubby’s happy balloon totally deflate*

“I dunno…make chili or stew with it, I guess.”

He snatched the bag from my hand and shoved it back in the freezer.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to make up for my obvious insensitivity over the excitement of ground teddy bear, “I’ll use it in the chili, okay?”

“I guess, but boss-man says it tastes kinda gamey so be sure to add a lot of spices.”

“Great. No, really that’s great. I’ve never had bear chili before.” (shocking, I know given that I am a Texan and we are known to be a bit crazy and adventurous when it comes to food)

I hugged hubby and told him to thank boss-man for the bear.

And, now I’m back to my original question – what the hell am I gonna do with several pounds of ground gamey-tasting teddy bear?  I’m not sure there’s enough chili powder and cumin on the planet to cover that taste, and I’m not sure I can get past the thought of the doe-eyed look of every cute li’l cartoon bear I’ve ever seen on television and around the Intertubes for as long as I can remember to eat it.

That’s it, Grumpy Bear, I’m turning your bitchy ass into chili! MUWAHAHAHAHA!

Next year, boss-man, why don’t you try trout fishing instead?