Dear Santa, Love Bugsy the Insane
I found this note in Bugsy the Insane’s kitty room:
I have been a
very gud, exellent, luving, kitty this yeer.
for chrissmuss i wanz:
a mouse – a live mouse, not the stoopid catnip-filled ones – they dont fool me
catnip, lots of catnip
tell mommy to let me eet the tinsel, i luv it even if i frow most of it up and sparkly-poop the rest
tell mommy to let me help rap giffs, i’m very gud at it
tell mommy to flush the swirly agin…and agin…and agin…i luv to try to catch the water
tell mommy i only trip her when my fud bowl is emtee, or i’m bored, or it’s toosday, or you know because
bring me the birds in my yard. it’s my yard, so i must eets them. it’s a kitty law
pleez make the little humans go away, i don’t like them. they smell, they are loud, and they touch me with sticky hanz
oh, and i guess i should ask you to bring mommy a live mouse, too. after all, she makes sure i get my treats and that medusin i take beecuz i haz a sick and my shugur gits out of wakk. i reely lub her, but don’t tell her.
i promise to be a
verry gud, exellent, luving, kitty agin next yeer too.