**UPDATED (Before You See It!)**With Sincerest Apologies to Mr. Pratchett

But, I really couldn’t resist…..

From our English-challenged friend, Mr. Wayne:

From: Mr Hilary Wayne [mailto:foffice506@yahoo.cn]
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 7:10 PM
Subject: I AM ON THE WAY TO YOUR HOME ADDRESS WHERE ARE YOU? URGENT

 

 

LEEWING TRADING COMPANY LIMITED

GOOD DAY I AM DIPLOMAT MR. HILARY WAYNE.

HOW IS EVERYTHING AND YOUR FAMILY IS NOW OVER A MONTH THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH U.S.A CUSTOMS WHERE I WAS ARRESTED THAT I DO NOT HAVE A DELIVERY CLEARANCE PAPER AT WASHINGTON DC U.S.A BUT I THANK GOD THAT THEY HAVE RELEASED ME TODAY WITH YOUR PACKAGE WORTH THE SUM OF $2.5MILLION U.S.A DORLLARS BUT THEY NEVER KNOW THAT IT CONTENTS LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY.

SO IT IS THIS MORNING THAT THEY RELEASED ME WITH YOUR FUNDS.YOU ADVICE TO RECONFIRM TO ME YOUR DETAILS YOU KNOW I LOST THEM DURING WHEN I WAS DRAGING YOUR PACKAGE WITH SOME IMMIGRATION OFFICER HERE.

AND AGAIN YOU HAVE TO PAY THE SUM OF $105.00 FOR AIR WAY BILL PAPERS THEY SAID THAT IF I DID NOT HAVE IT THAT I WILL NOT ENTER FLIGHT TO YOUR OR TAXI SO SEND THE FEES TO BENIN REPUBLIC WHERE I CAN FROM THEY WILL GET THE AIR WAY BILL ASAP AND FORWARD TO ME HERE AND IT WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN 4/HRS OR 5/HRS I WILL GET TO YOUR HOME ONCE YOU SEND THE FEES.

HERE IS THE INFORMATION TO SEND IT.

RECEIVERS NAME ……..Ngene Francis.
COUNTRY …….BENIN REPUBLIC .
CITY COTONOU .
AMOUNT $105.00
TXQ HOW LONG.
ANSWER 5 HRS DELIVERY.
SENDERS NAME
MTCN……..

PLEASE CALL MY DIRECTOR DHL DELIVERY COMPANY NOW NAME MR

PETER PALMER // NO +229-99 15 28 45.

 

 

PLEASE IT IS THIS MORNING THAT THEY HAVE RELEASED ME AND I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE ANY MORE LONG HERE AND I WILL DELIVER YOUR FUNDS IN 5 HRS TIME ONCE YOU SEND THE FEES TO THE MAN IN CHARGE.DO THAT FAST SO THAT THEY CAN NOT LOOK OVER THIS PACKAGE TO KNOW THE CONTENTS,

THANKS
DIPLOMATIC AGENT
MR. HILARY WAYNE

EMAILS:hdiplomat@rocketmail.com)

 

And, my reply………..

Dear Sir/Madam/Aircraft:

Being a native of Ankh-Morpork I am unfamiliar with the ‘DORLLAR’ of whence you speak. Is it, perhaps, in any way related to our very own knocker?  Because I have two of those, and while they are not large they are, shall we say, respectable.

Please advise if a pair of knockers would suffice for payment.

Sincerely,

A’Tuin

 It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, I tell ya….

And later that same day, Hilarywayneclintondhlbenin responded…….

Dear mr {redacted}

i receive your email and i want to let you know that is the only thing that delaying is sum of $105 and you have to go ahead and send it right now for air way bill paper i promise you. that is the noly fees you are going to send.

HERE IS THE INFORMATION TO SEND IT.

RECEIVERS NAME …….. NGENE FRANCIS.
COUNTRY …….BENIN REPUBLIC .
CITY COTONOU .
AMOUNT ……..$105.
QUESTION…… HOW LONG.
ANSWER ……5HRS DELIVERY.
SENDERS NAME…….
MTCN……..

To which I responded:

Do people really fall for this?   That makes me sad for the human race.

 Oh, and the Secret Service loves it when I string you idiots along.   I expect they’ll be in touch with you…very soon.

 Hugs,

A’Tuin

I think I may have ended my fun with Mr. Hillarybeninwaynemacaroniandcheese, though.    I’d love to keep playhing, but I just don’t have the time.   I have to go watch paint dry…or something.

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Posted on February 1, 2013, in Fun with Scammers and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I told one that wrote me that I needed to bribe senior officers of my bank to avoid an investigation by our money laundering investigators, therefore he should send me four payments of US$9,900.00 each.

    I didn’t get a reply 😀

    I gave another one the number of a maxed out credit card I was about to deactivate. I got no reply nor any money paid to the card 😀

    Told another I needed to do a “dry run”. He was to send part of the money and I’d see how best to move it through my several bank accounts to avoid an investigation. I also said that when he’s ready I’d arrange for a relative living in England to come to him to collect it.

    Trying to con a con is madness of course, but I just couldn’t resist it; too much fun 😀

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