This Happens At Least Once a Week, Probably More

My mother calls me, and this is how it goes…

MOM: Hi there, honey, just wanted to let you know I’ve changed my e-mail address and it’s   thisisthe456thchange@yeehaw.com

ME: Again?  You just changed it.

MOM: I know, but AOL was pissing me off.

ME: You had Yahoo! mail, Mom.

MOM: Then Yahoo! was pissing me off.

ME: Okay.

MOM: And I need your cell phone number again.

*she’s just called me on my cell*

ME: Wha? You called me on my cell.

MOM: Yes, but I don’t know what the number is.

ME: I…wha…um….okay. (at this point, there’s no logic I can use to make her understand “Contacts”, so I just go along with it) I’ll e-mail it to you.

MOM: And while you are at it, can you send me all the kids’ e-mails too?  I lost the list when I changed e-mails.

ME: Okay, but I also mailed you a typed copy.

MOM: Yeah, I don’t know what I did with it.

*headdesk*

ME: Okay.

I send her the information she asked for and another week goes by…….

My cell phone rings.

MOM: Hi honey, just wanted to let you know that AOL was pissing me off, so I have a new e-mail account.

ME: *blink*

MOM: …and I’m going to need your cell number, and everyone’s e-mail address again.

ME: *unscrewing the flask and taking a giant swig*  Okay, Mom (I say way too brightly)

And another week goes by, and my cell rings again.

MOM: Hi honey, Yahoo! was screwing up my e-mails so I changed accounts…..

ME: *unscrewing the lid to the convenient economy-sized bottle of Xanax* Imagine that………

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Posted on June 5, 2013, in Things That Annoy, What the flippity-flop? and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I hope I never get like that 😀

  2. Maybe get her a tattoo on her forearm–of all your phone numbers and email addresses.

    I don’t know what to suggest for the constantly changing accounts. Sounds like every time a provider screws with her mail, you screw the top off something. Maybe AOL, Yahoo, etc., are in collusion with the booze distillers?

    • Disclaimer: I really don’t drink or take any kind of mood-altering drug…but sometimes I’m sorely tempted.

      I honestly think Mom – in her drug and booze addled state – forgets passwords to her e-mail account, and if she doesn’t remember to click the “keep me logged in” or whatever button she can’t get back in, hence her perception that Yahoo! or AOL (which she’s NEVER had, btw) are screwing with her.

      No, Mom…the drugs and alcohol are screwing with you..oh, and your age. Let’s not forget that at your age….

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