I Promised Myself I Wouldn’t Be THAT Blogger…

…that posted cute pictures of their cats and/or dogs all day and talked about how funny they look when they poop or hack up a hairball.

Sigh…I am such a disappointment to myself.

You see, our new rescue pup – Josey – does unintentionally hilarious shit.

All. The. Time.

So, I’m actually showing a good deal of restraint by just sharing this one story.

You’re welcome.

One of the ‘things’ about my formerly feral white shepherd is her lack of socialization.  She doesn’t know how to dog, basically.

There’s no tail wagging.

There’s no food begging – in fact she RUNS the other way when we try to feed her in the house.  She’ll only eat outside – another post for…nevermind.

There’s no coming when called, despite knowing her name.

Basically, she’s a cat in a dog suit.

The one thing she’s begun doing is following her “pack” around the house.  The pack being me and hubby.  The cat is not part of the pack, and spends most of his time alternately ignoring or staring at her – no doubt thinking what a dumbass she is.

We have a den, and in that den our Josey had never set foot.  For whatever reason, the den (and our bedroom) was a room she couldn’t follow us into.

This created a serious problem for her.  She couldn’t not follow her pack, but she couldn’t follow her pack.

So, one night she finally worked up the courage to follow her pack.

Sort of.

She started by backing into the den, after she’d paced in front of the door for several minutes, and sat with her back to us staring at the doorway.

This went on for at least 10 minutes, hubby and I giggling all the while, and me providing a commentary to the thoughts I imagined in her head…

                I can do this. I know I can do this. Just don’t make eye contact. I can do this.

Finally, she turned around and walked to the farthest corner of the room.  She sat on the hard floor, and slooooooooooooooowly her butt slid backwards.  She re-positioned her butt and paws, sat down, and sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid backwards.

By now, hubby and I were in tears from trying to hold back the laughter.

The cat finally came out to see what all the fuss was about, and he walked right in and sat down on the rug right next to Josey.  His ass stayed put. He looked at her, smugly.

She got up and parked her ass on the rug, ending the slide and our giggling.

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Posted on December 20, 2013, in Awesomesauce, Dog, Maybe I'm The Only One Who Thinks This Is Funny and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I LOVE this story! I can picture Josey scooting across the floor backwards! 🙂

  2. Your dog is insane! I can picture her doing that, and it’s making me chuckle. We have a huge goldendoodle with lots of dog instincts, but also some very cat-like behavior. We like to say he’s half lion.

    • I often say she’s a cat in a dog-fur suit. She cleans herself like a cat, she’s silent like a cat, and she’s a very finicky eater like a cat.

      No wonder she has issues.

      • Maybe she was raised by cats?

      • She actually lived at the power plant where I work for over a year, so she was semi-feral. We had to trap her, then she went to what we thought was a forever home only to be on the verge of going to a shelter 4 months later. A fortuitous phone call to me saved her from that, and the rest is history. Sometimes hilarious history.

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