Daily Archives: January 10, 2014

Do You High Five or Fist Bump a Burly Dude Who’s Done a Solid? I’m Confused.

All I wanted was pizza for us.   Two of the grandkids and their daddy stopped by spur-of-the-moment, so it was Capt. Pizza Hut to the rescue.

Pizza was ordered, and I drove to pick it up.

I walked into the teen-eyenie storefront place to a pre-show for WWE Smackdown.  (Is that right? I don’t watch wrastlin’)

Tall Skinny 40+ yr. old Dude (TSD) was red-faced leaning over the counter and accusing a terrified 17-yr. old boy of “denting my car”.   The kid’s eyes were big as saucers as he tried ineffectively to apologize. 

TSD was not satisfied and proceeded to point at the kid, out the window to his damaged car, and back at the kid telling him that is not how one reacts to denting a door.  One is supposed to stop, render aid, drop and roll…or something like that.

That’s when Big Burly also 40+ yr. old Dude, who had been watching like the rest of us, stepped up and said, “Duuuuuuuuuude…you need to chill”

To which TSD, still seething (but not seeing BBD yet), replied with  “You gonna ma-..” before realizing BBD had kick-ass written all over him. 

Really, the dude was big.  Even under his jacket I could tell he didn’t spend his spare time exclusively playing World of Warcraft (again, is that right? I also don’t do video games), but spent a good deal of it deadlifting Volkswagens and Prius’, perhaps even the occasional Leaf.

BBD took the silent pause to add, “He’s a kid, man, just chill out here.  You don’t need to get in his face.”

TSD, not sufficiently recovered from his near ass-beatin’ experience, pointed to his Kia and said, “He opened his Mustang’s car door and slammed it right into mine.”

TSD’s little blonde wife came in at that moment, and nodded, “That’s right, and there’s a big dent in the door.”

It took everything I had not to say something smart-ass like, “You drive a POS Kia, dude.  A good windstorm will crumple it.”   But, for once I thought before speaking.

I am afraid this will become a habit.  But, I digress.

By this time the Pizza Hut manager had joined the fray, and offers to provide insurance info, or call the police, were made.  The POS Kia was inspected, tongues clucked, and then TSD and LBW were comped the pizza they’d been there to pick up.   They left.

And that’s when I said, “Very nice of you to speak up, young man.”  

Others said the same, but I still wonder if I should have added the high five or fist bump?