Is This Thing Even On???

So, last week I ordered a simple little cactus arrangement to put in the middle of our conference table for the visit from our corporate people.

I wanted to be sure it arrived in time, so I paid extra for it to get here the day before the visit..actually before noon the day before the visit.

At 11:00 a.m. I called the florist we use, “We’re Stupid Flowers and Plants”, because my cactus hadn’t arrived.
The very nice lady told me that the plant was, in fact, on its way.

At noon it still wasn’t here, so I called back and left a message this time.

Then this e-mail exchange happened:

Thank you for contacting We’re Stupid Flowers. Please accept our sincere apologies for the delay in delivery of your floral gift. We know how important prompt delivery is, and would like to rectify the situation to your satisfaction.

We have therefore issued a refund of $4.99 for the expedited service fee to help compensate for the delay. We want to ensure that your experience with We’re Stupid Flowers is a positive one, and we hope you will continue to utilize our services for all your gift-giving needs.

Again, please accept our apologies for the delay.

Sincerely,

I’mnotpayingattention

Okay, I’m the recipient by the way….so where is it?

Thank you for your recent email. We want to assure you that your order has been sent for delivery. We will contact you as soon as it is confirmed that the gift was received.

Thank you again and we look forward to speaking with you soon.

Sincerely,

I’mprobablyhighasballs

Are you even reading my responses?

I told you I’m the recipient.

You don’t need to contact me to tell me when I receive my ‘gift’. I’m pretty sure I’ll know.

Now, please contact whoever it is that is delivering my order and find out just where they are right now, and when will my order be delivered. I say this, because I am leaving here at 3:00 PM today. That is why I ordered the expedited delivery.

Thank you for your recent inquiry. We have notified our vendor of your request for delivery confirmation and as soon as we receive this information, it will be automatically forwarded to the email address provided on your order.

Thank you for your patience and please contact us if we can be of any further assistance. We are available for you 24 hours a day 7 days a week at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Sincerely,

NoIdon’tknowwhytheyputablindpersoninchargeofemaileither

Seriously? You’re not reading my e-mails are you?

I could write anything here..just blarglefarg and goobledocksin and you’ll say the same thing, won’t you?

I don’t need the delivery confirmation, I AM THE RECIPIENT.

I need to know WHEN THE DELIVERY WILL BE MADE.

Now, try again. Pick up the phone, call the local florist tasked with filling the order, and ask the friendly person on the other end just when they estimate my plant will get here. I don’t even need an exact time. Just approximately when will do.

Simple, see?

And, I’m about done with We’re Stupid Flowers. If y’all cannot comprehend simple questions and give direct answers, I don’t think I can trust that my orders will be correct and delivered in a timely fashion. Shame, too. I’ve spent a lot of money over the past few years.

Thank you for your recent email. We apologize for the delay in response and thank you for your patience. We have contacted our local florist again and they have assured us that they will contact us as soon as they locate the delivery information for your order. Please rest assured, as soon as this information is received, we will contact you.

Thank you again for your patience and we look forward to speaking with you soon.

Sincerely,

Ican’treadanyway

I gave up and left for the day, but when I came in the next morning I had no cactus plant delivered, but I was assured…..

Thank you for your recent purchase with We’re Stupid Flowers! Our records show that your order has been delivered to awesomesauciness on 10/07/2014.
If you have any questions regarding your order and would like to speak with a Customer Service Representative, please email us at welie@we’restupidflowers.com or dial (xxx) xxx-xxxx. We are here to assist you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Thanks again for your business. We look forward to serving you again soon!

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Posted on October 22, 2014, in What the flippity-flop? and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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