Daily Archives: April 23, 2015

You Say Child, I See Science Experiment

I have an…shall we say ‘acquaintance’…who is a professional engineer.  His wife is a tutor and teacher.  They have one child, a son, on whom they can focus all of their energies.

Poor kid.

Since birth, I’ve gotten regular updates on the child (prodigy) with emphasis on milestones and achievements.

At 2, he was reading.  At 4, complex math. At 7, fluent in one foreign language and starting when he was 8 another language was added.

Every minute of this kid’s day is packed with precisely measured doses of education.

I honestly haven’t heard of a single incident involving bugs, mud, skinned knees, puppies, or a busted lip.

Recently, he was expected to be accepted into an accelerated program at one of the local magnet schools.  In order to properly prepare him, his parents altered his sleeping and eating schedule to “obtain optimum cognitive abilities” on testing day.

I’m worried about this kid.  I foresee a future with him snapping, and by ‘snapping’ I mean he’ll wear mis-matched argyle socks and his mother will faint.

I’ve met him several times, over the years, and he is poised, personable, handsome, and at 8 yrs. old he creeps me out.

He’s a Stepford child, I’m convinced.

Also, this cannot be common.  I refuse to believe this happens a lot to children who really should be spending at least some time every day getting dirty.

I’m really, reaaaaaaaaaaallly curious to see how puberty affects this child and wonder if he’ll just rebel and maybe ditch the khakis for some ripped jeans and a pair of Vans.

I don’t think his parents could survive that kind of shock to their systems, but me…I’ll be doing my inner “hells yeah” dance the day he does.