You Say Child, I See Science Experiment

I have an…shall we say ‘acquaintance’…who is a professional engineer.  His wife is a tutor and teacher.  They have one child, a son, on whom they can focus all of their energies.

Poor kid.

Since birth, I’ve gotten regular updates on the child (prodigy) with emphasis on milestones and achievements.

At 2, he was reading.  At 4, complex math. At 7, fluent in one foreign language and starting when he was 8 another language was added.

Every minute of this kid’s day is packed with precisely measured doses of education.

I honestly haven’t heard of a single incident involving bugs, mud, skinned knees, puppies, or a busted lip.

Recently, he was expected to be accepted into an accelerated program at one of the local magnet schools.  In order to properly prepare him, his parents altered his sleeping and eating schedule to “obtain optimum cognitive abilities” on testing day.

I’m worried about this kid.  I foresee a future with him snapping, and by ‘snapping’ I mean he’ll wear mis-matched argyle socks and his mother will faint.

I’ve met him several times, over the years, and he is poised, personable, handsome, and at 8 yrs. old he creeps me out.

He’s a Stepford child, I’m convinced.

Also, this cannot be common.  I refuse to believe this happens a lot to children who really should be spending at least some time every day getting dirty.

I’m really, reaaaaaaaaaaallly curious to see how puberty affects this child and wonder if he’ll just rebel and maybe ditch the khakis for some ripped jeans and a pair of Vans.

I don’t think his parents could survive that kind of shock to their systems, but me…I’ll be doing my inner “hells yeah” dance the day he does.

Posted on April 23, 2015, in What the flippity-flop? and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. He’ll most likely become so bored with those his age, that hel’ll play pranks that they can’t imitate (Talking from personal experience) 🙂

    I was not as gifted, but although I was raised speaking Jamaican, I was already literate in English at 4, started to learn Spanish at 6 and I did Arithmetic from left to right because it was quicker.

    I was not sent to any special school, instead, my prep. school teacher assigned me work different to what was assigned the rest of the class and I was skipped one grade.

  2. My cousin was an only child whose days were managed and planned down to the minute. He wasn’t allowed to play with my older brothers outside because he didn’t own play clothes. He got to high school and played football, played football in college and later did a stint in stand up comedy. He’s a counselor now and lets his children get as dirty as they’d like when they’re outside – much to his mother’s chagrin.


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