Guys, I Need Your HALP!!

I have a connudd, a conand, uh…I have a problem.

There’s this super-annoying coirker of mine that’s super. annoying.all.the.time.

She’s actually at a site miles from here, but in the power industry we’re all just one big dysfunctional family.

Anyway, she sent out a mass e-mail and from what I can gather she wants all the other secretaries, excuse me, “administrative support professionals” in the region to join her in a hand-holding session when things get “too stressful” for us.

A little background here – I work at a power plant.  We make electricity here – not nuclear generated or coal fueled; we use natural gas, so y’all just simmer down out there – and yes, there are times of high stress…like mainly Monday-Friday, but only during work hours.

The rest of the time is an alcohol-induced haze, so it may be stressful, or it may not. Hard to tell.  I’m kidding. Maybe.

So, Miss Annoying McAnnoyerson thinks we should “reach out” to one another, via e-mail, for stress relief.

She wants us to share “a funny picture” or an “inspirational quote” with each other as a means of support.

My gag reflex is on overload right now, guys.

I am a girl, no doubt about it, but I’m not a guurrrllll.  Apparently, I did not get that gene.

I loathe shopping, mani-pedis, lunching with the ladies, girls nights out, talking on the phone, and inspirational quotes/cutesy picture e-mails.

Which brings me to my original problem.

How do I tell her that not only do I NOT want to be part of her all-girl band, I don’t want to see anyone else’s “inspiration”, nor be a part of the stress-relief program?

No, really, how do I do that without coming off as a total beeyotch, which let’s face it I really am and she should know that by now?




Posted on April 1, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I think you should join in! Send her borderline-inappropriately funny missives and maybe she’ll rethink her “inspirational” email project. Nothing says “get out of my face” like a NSFW email!

  2. Why do you have to respond at all? Can’t you just ignore her and her email? Otherwise, copy and send a recent comic and move on.

    • I wish I could just ignore her. After I wrote this she called me like four times, and thank jeebus I have caller ID on my desk phone, so I ignored the calls. I also ignored and deleted the e-mails. I’m sure, given our level of (forced) interaction, I’ll be hearing more about this. Sigh….I really hate hurting people’s feelings, but I hate being put in a crappy position even more. Guess who wins? Yep, me.

  3. Send that pic of that cute puppy, EVERY FIVE MINUTES until she removes you from the email group.

    Or something that is completely funny to you but completely NSFW and might get you fired. EVERY. Five. Minutes.

    Then, when you have to go the HR, you can say “I didn’t want to be part of that stupid group anyway!”


  4. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! LOVE the idea, but I love the pension plan here a whole lot more.


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