Drunk’s More Fun

Or so I’ve heard, not that I personally have any knowledge of what “drunk” feels like, or even how to spell the word, or that I’ve ever known anyone who got drunk.


But, what is not fun is waking up, getting out of bed, and immediately falling down to your knees.

That.  That is not fun. That is painful.

It’s also quite startling for the dog lying beside the bed.

But, it’s what happens when you wake up, stand up, and are suddenly more dizzy than anyone has ever been since the beginning of humanity.  And, it’s what happened to me this morning.

The dizziness subsided a bit after I was up a while, but then driving to work I noticed my head was tilted to one side and it was difficult to keep it ‘tween the lines.  Good thing I drive a tank, and good luck to everyone around me.

As I sit here, typing at my desk, I feel like I’m on a perpetual roller coaster…or drunk…with much less funnage (it’s a word, now) than I imagine either activity creates.

No, I don’t know what’s wrong, but because OLD I suspect either I’ve got some inner ear fluid thing going on or my rocks ‘er off.    And, by “rocks” I mean the inner ear bones that keep the world from going all funhouse (no, that is an effin’ word Mr. SquigglyLine) on me have gotten out of alignment.

It happens, as I said, because OLD.  As we age those bones wear down and move out of alignment.  When that happens, BAM! drunken old person syndrome (DROPS) ensues.  If you do happen to get drunk, you can just tell everyone you have DROPS and because you’re old they will believe you and probably offer to buy you a ham sammich or something.

I just hope the nausea that usually comes with dizziness didn’t come with this funpack, and I hope this shit clears up soon.

Like I said, it’s no fun.  And, yes, if it persists or gets even weirder I’ll go see the doc.  Another not fun activity I try to avoid.

Posted on April 8, 2016, in Uncategorized, What the flippity-flop? and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Janey no likey you being all DROPS-y. Hope you’re feeling better soon!

  2. I’m not giving my current “illness” to DROPS, because, you know, Not Yet “OLD”. But I totally feel ya on the whole “drunk’s more fun” thing. Although I will say, you DO know someone who’s ever gotten drunk, and really, only slightly inebriated is more fun. Drunk is invariably falling down and puking in inappropriate places and waking up with a splitting headache that only goes away when you drink another fucking Bloody Mary. Aim for slightly inebriated; that’s my advice.

    Or just get better, as I hope to do, before there’s time to call a doc!

  3. Yikes, that’s kind of creepy.

    One day, years ago, I woke up and couldn’t see anything. At all. My vision came back a minute or two later and it’s never happened again, but it was weird.

    It’s strange what the body decides to do once in awhile.


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