Daily Archives: May 9, 2016

That’s A Big Hole

When a larger-than-life character departs from this world it leaves a big hole.  A ginormous, gaping wound of a hole if that person is someone you love-despised.

That someone, for me, was my mother.

She died on April 25th, 2016.

I just typed that my mother died and I still can’t wrap my head around it. Granted, she was not young nor in the best of health, but her death was very sudden (heart) and unexpected.  I mean, six hours before she left us I was talking to her and her last words to me were “I love you, baby”.  She was in the hospital, having been admitted that morning with chest pains, and we were still awaiting test results.  The EKG was normal and all they’d found so far was she was dehydrated.  Then they found her on the floor, unresponsive, and with no clear code status in place (no idea why, but that got missed on the admission questions to my nurse-sister) they resuscitated her for AN HOUR.  By then, the mom we knew was gone.  It just took another 24 hours for her body to catch up.

She was exasperating, exhausting, funny, mean, smart, vulnerable, beautiful and flawed.

And I loved her awful…and sometimes did a terrible job of that, but she knew and I knew in the way only mothers and daughters can know.  It’s that tie that binds, for good or bad.

R.I.P. Mom, and give ’em Hell up there.  Lord knows you are capable.

donna johnson 1968